Kaepernick’s Old Team To Drop Anthem; Alternative Found

The truth is right in front of you

The San Francisco 49ers were once the home of famous kneeler Colin Kaepernick. Though they let him go following his controversy with our national anthem, both ownership and the fans of the team hold great loyalty to this traitor. This was profoundly evidenced by the announcement that team management made today.

GM Titus Balsac said this at press conference today:

“Starting in the preseason of this year, the San Francisco 49ers will no longer allow the playing of the Star Spangled Banner at our home games at Levi’s Stadium.

Obviously, there has been a lot of controversy surrounding the song and we’ve just had enough of it. And let’s face it, it’s a stupid song anyway. Rockets and bombs and stuff. It’s violent imagery. Most countries celebrate pride in their freedom and such but not America! Nope, we sing about war and destruction. No wonder it’s controversial, right?

Only the best mariachis will perform.

Anyway, just to show we’re reasonable, we’ll replace the tune with another anthem more representative of the population of our city. Henceforth, our games will be preceded the Mexican national anthem, La Bamba. I checked with Kap and he’s cool with that one.”

This is an unprecedented move in the NFL or any professional league in America. The Mexican anthem? What the hell? That is showing loyalty for a foreign flag over our own. That is treason.


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I refused to evolve and wrote fake news for cash, so I got fired.

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