Hillary Has Plastic Surgery To Look More ‘Youthful’ To Voters

The truth is right in front of you

Former First Lady and Secretary of State, Hillary Rodham Clinton, has gone under the knife. She’s paid several visits recently to renowned Dallas plastic surgeon, Dr Joseph Barron, for multiple procedures, all of which were an attempt to “regain her youthful beauty.” The final product was revealed to the world at a cocktail party at the home of her good friend and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi yesterday and it made quite an impression, to say the least. Gone are her wrinkles and jowls, replaced by smooth skin wrapped tightly on her face.

A few of the guests took some time to offer their opinions of Hillary’s new look. One was Satya Martin who grimaced at first but put on a brave smile before offering,”It was an interesting change.”

Others were more forthcoming. Lauren Perrine described the change as like that of a “circus freak.” Sandy Batt said Clinton looked “like a monster, like something from Frankenstein.” And Trish Blake didn’t hold back at all, bursting out in laughter and telling us between fits, “I couldn’t f**king believe it! She thought that was a younger look? I actually screamed in terror when she turned to me. What else could I do? She barely looks human anymore! I doubt Bill touched her much before but now separate bedrooms are sure to be coming! He wouldn’t be able sleep knowing that thing was in the same room as him! Who would?”

Yes, that is most definitely a botched job. Sorry Hillary, if you thought that would make you more appealing to anyone on earth, you were very, very wrong.

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I refused to evolve and wrote fake news for cash, so I got fired.

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