In what she calls: “a bold effort to bring America to the forefront of green technology”, Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez announced this morning that she had drafted house bill 1844, the “Green Wheels” initiative, which would add a “pollution tax” of up to $300 per year to all owners of vehicles not powered electrically. The tax would bring in billions in revenue, and would cover the cost of many other green initiatives.
Opponents of the legislation believe that electric vehicles are still too costly for the average consumer, and that their infrastructure hasn’t yet been properly constructed. However, many reconsidered when the hottest congresswoman ever wore a new shade of smoky eye-shadow, L’oreal’s “Night heat blue.” Except Lindsey Graham, who was unaffected for some reason that we all know. Rhymes with “floset fleen.”
Elon Musk, head of Tesla Motors however, thinks it’s a great idea. He spoke to media members from inside an electric-turbine powered experimental rocket bathtub:
“It’s a great idea, and that woman has a great head on her shoulders. Man is she hot. I wonder if she likes older guys? I’d take her into space any day. Nom.”
The bill will be put to a vote next week and is expected to pass in the Congress. Time to kiss that old pickup goodbye, patriots.