Netflix Fine with ‘Cuties’, Cancels Jesus Documentary


Streaming media giant Netflix is taking a lot of heat over one of its newest features, “Cuties”, which tells the story of an impoverished 11-year old girl striving to become a dancer in order to find self-esteem and gain attention in a world that seems to reward and encourage that behavior.  The “dancing” portrayed in the film has been described as salacious by the usual conservative alarm-sounders who regularly belong to “family” organizations that fall victim to sexual depravity investigations on a constant basis.

After a firestorm of controversy, homosexual star Templeton “Tinky” Winky now works as a fluffer for Sesame Street’s Bert.

Netflix has mostly chosen to ignore the critiques, responding only that the story is what matters.  A predictable boycott of the pay network has failed to do anything significant towards the service’s profits, echoing every boycott ever by conservatives who seem to believe their money has far more power than it really does.  In fact, most trump-supporting dustballs who pretend to “Christian” values don’t understand how to stream movies and are still barely learning how to rewind their VHS tapes.

As if to add insult to injury, Netflix CEO Sandy Batt has announced the cancellation of “Nailed It”, a documentary detailing the search for evidence of the existence of religious figure Jesus Christ.  Batt told media sources that the doc simply contained too much controversy for the network to deal with.

“The Jesus doc is a real-life exploration of so-called evidence of the existence of Jesus.  The problem is, there isn’t any.  At every turn, the investigators were stopped short of finding provable physical elements of the Biblical story.  I mean, we have dinosaur bones.  But no sign of this supposed holy figure.  Pretty sure the same people who didn’t watch what basically amounts to a first grade dance recital and immediately labelled it porn are going to flip their wigs over this one.  We’re cancelling it just to save a lot of EMT’s some speeding tickets basically. “

A blood-pressure medication factory in Shang-Chi China struggles to keep up with the outrage of American God-botherers.

Do YOU agree with the seemingly satanic decision processes operating Netflix at it’s highest levels? Be sure to boycott and write Facebook posts.  Both of those actions will do nothing, but you can brag to your prissy friends.

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