March, 2008 : The international Year of the Potato. Val Kilmer was disappointing television audiences as the new voice of “Kitt” on a doomed reboot of “Knight Rider.” Taylor Swift swept the pop music charts by asking Romeo to take her somewhere they could be alone. And according to Democratic Presidential contender “Mayor” Pete Buttigieg, Donald Trump, New York socialite, was propositioning him for sex in a disco club called “The Pink Grapefruit.”
The shocking accusation piles on top of dozens of other sexual harassment complaints currently in the air against America’s Most Syphalitic President. Buttigieg claims he ran into the then construction magnate during a night out clubbing.
“He saw me and a couple of friends dancing and just kind of ‘electric slided’ over. He was the only one in the place wearing a business suit. One of my buddies shouted: ‘Hey, it’s that fat guy from that Apprentice show!’ We all laughed and he wrapped an arm around my waist. He offered me some aderall, but I declined. Then he put his hand on my buttocks and asked if I wanted to go back to Trump Plaza and make a balloon sandwich. I got really creeped out and left.”
A balloon sandwich is a gay euphemism describing a sexual practice between two men where one positions his penis (The meat) between his partner’s buttocks (The bread) and gyrates frantically until orgasm is achieved. Buttigieg did not specify whether Trump wished to be the dominant poker, or the recessive balloons.
With the ongoing troubles of the Trump administration during the current election cycle, this accusation is sure to ram a wrench in the President’s works. Let’s hope the sordid tales just blows it’s load by November.
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