Trump Orders ‘Supermarket Subsidies’ so Seniors on a Budget Can Avoid Walmart and Target

President Trump took steps today to safeguard America’s retirees from the dangerous, socialist practices of retailers like Walmart and Target. Those big-box retailers are allowed to sell their products so cheap because the restrictions are so light on them, which President Trump says will likely change very soon:

“We’re looking at some things, which obviously we can’t do all of the good ones or the bad ones but we’re still looking and seeing which things are worth looking into most. For now, people should shop elsewhere from those places and the government will just have to make sure you’re paying the same prices at the expensive store that you would at Walmart or Target.”

The “Supermarket Subsidy” would be in the form of an automatic credit to your social security account rather than some card you have to use that people will look at funny. This isn’t because you’re lazy and refuse to work, mind you. You’re accepting a benefit from the government so we can choose where we shop and stop this socialism dead in its tracks.

The Congressional Budget and Presidential Petty cash Office says the retiree population should feel very little bite from the boycott:

“Seniors who shop at Publix instead of Walmart in Florida, for example, will pay the same amount after the deposit to their accounts, which is determined by how much you spend. You’ll have to report your expenses on your taxes and the subsidies will be taxed like income, which should bring most seniors down to an income level that qualifies for free food.

That will save even more money. Another great plan by a great president.

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