While liberals cry over a dead Iranian general, young Trump supporters are stepping up by the thousands to help the cause and serve their country. Recruiters from coast to coast are reporting that they have lines out the door and around the block full of young men and women, proudly wearing their Make America Great Again hats, ready to enlist to go to war against Iran.
One Naval recruiter called it the greatest display of patriotism he’s ever seen:
“These kids are amazing. Only about half of them will be able to pass the psychological exam and another 30 or 40 percent won’t pass the aptitude test, but their loyalty and willingness to do whatever it takes to support their president is just astounding.”
It really is the feel-good story of the century. The Marine Corps says they haven’t seen recruitment numbers like these since the months following September 11th, 2001:
“We’re anticipating more than 10K applicants this weekend alone. Unfortunately, we don’t accept dropouts or graduates of the School of Hard Knocks, but we’re referring them to the Army or the Coast Guard where they can still support their country by protecting our borders or being front-line pawns in President Trump’s war. The Marines are grateful for their patriotism.”
Recruiters are asking that prospective new recruits make sure they will qualify before coming to enlist. In order to be eligible for the US military, you must meet the following criteria:
- A high school education or equivalent
- No felony convictions
- An IQ over 72 and a sunny disposition
- At least 18 years old
- At least pretending to be heterosexual
- Still the same gender as the day you were born
- No more than 14 percent obesity with a willingness to lose weight
Recruiters are also asking that prospects not bring their own weapons to sign up and to please not dress in their local militia uniforms, as it tends to make bystanders at strip malls uncomfortable.
On behalf of America, we’d like to thank all of the brave recruits willing to travel to Iran or Iraq to support this noble venture. God bless you and God bless the USA.