Ocasio-Cortez Bans Normal Human Interaction

The nation is currently in the grips of several Democratic conspiracies designed to attack the Republican Patriots of Congress. Freshman Senator Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez pulled a fast one, inserting a rider into a recently passed bill that we are just now learning about.

It bans normal human interaction.

Yep. That’s right. Just when we think that the bar can’t get any lower for Ocasio-Cortez, she proves us wrong. The former bartender turned national embarrassment once again showed that she is completely out of touch, pun intended, with basic humanity.

Multiple sources have confirmed that she sits by herself in the Sandy Batt Memorial Cafeteria and often has 52 percent of her lunch stolen from her by Bernie Sanders, while the other 98 Senators point and laugh at her.

Initial speculation was that this was a misguided, but virtuous, attempt to promote a healthier society but it was confirmed by Joe Barron, Capitol Hill honorary psychologist,  that it was motivated by simple and petty revenge.

“No one likes the kid. She’s as dumb as a rock. And petty. She singlehandedly decided that if she cannot have regular relationships then we can’t either. Just plain insane, but that’s what we’ve come to expect from her.”

Will it be illegal to say hello to people? Shake hands? Will making eye-contact get you thrown in jail? It’s all a big unknown right now. The scope and scale of this new law is being determined by the courts.

We can make it right in November by voting her back to the bar.

Be the first to comment