GOP Icon Charlie Kirk Hospitalized

The Founder and President of lib-insulting social media meme machine, Turning Points USA had been battling the sniffles for a few days when his health suddenly deteriorated. Charlie Kirk was hospitalized at the Mayo Hospital as a precaution after testing positive for a virus. TPUSA spokesgirl, Kaitlyn Jenna Alexis said his condition is stable.

Also known as the Wu-Flu, a hilarious term coined by Kirk that triggers the libs, it poses an especially serious risk to the elderly and persons with pre-existing conditions. Unfortunately for Charlie Kirk, he falls into the latter category. He needs your prayers.

Born with the rare condition Pneumocephalus, Charlie Kirk overcame many obstacles growing up. He turned his handicap into a positive when he launched the largest logical fallacy driven meme page on Facebook. It was a turning point in his life.

With his newfound popularity on social media among older Americans who understand conservative life; folks who lived through driving without seat belts, lead-painted toys, no helmets, and siphoning leaded gasoline, he had the confidence to follow his passion. His lonely childhood in the past, he set out to connect with other young conservative boys forced to hide in the shadows by the liberal indoctrination of their peers. Turning Point was founded.

Charlie’s non-profit has afforded him the ability to avoid the theft of taxation while traveling the country to groom future conservatives to his movement. With chapters in colleges and high schools across America, their most important work is triggering the liberals to show the supremacy of the Right.

Concerned that this hospitalization would interrupt the quality lib-triggering meme content we’ve come to rely on, Editor Art Tubolls reached out to TP for comment. Local chapter President Hunter Maxwell Wyatt assured us that TP memes were produced strictly by algorithm for years thanks to a nerd on a Poor’s scholarship. It’s nice that these young conservatives give back to “the help.”

We will continue to follow Charlie Kirk’s condition and update this story with developments. Praying for you, Charlie!