US Military Officially Ranked #1 In The World Again Thanks To Trump

When Barack Obama left office, our military was in shambles. According to President Trump, not only were our warships and aircraft carriers “severely outnumbered,” but they were also floating around without any way to actually fight if necessary.

White House Director of Information and Propaganda, Gill DeTater, explains:

“Obama eliminated dozens of ships from our arsenal. Then he stopped buying ammunition for our guns. By the end of his term, the US military was spending nearly $8 million less than in previous years on bullets alone. Now, we’re back to full force, with a million or so men, some women, and fully-stocked armories with enough guns and ammo to wipe out any small sovereign nation we find to be a nuisance.”

Generals and Admirals across the armed services have been lining up to give praise to Trump for saving their troops from complete annihilation. Rear Admiral Sandy Batt, a 57-year veteran of the military, says it hasn’t been this good since the days of Ronald Reagan:

“We don’t just have enough anymore. We have so much more than we need it’s ridiculous. Maybe this time if a Democrat gets elected we’ll have enough bullets, shells, mines, and nuclear warheads to really keep us safe from threats, both foreign and domestic.”

General Joe Barron, whose unit earned 13 Purple Hearts and only one indictment for war crimes in Iraq, says his men are ready and willing to do it again:

“We’re eager to get back to doing what we do best: killing. It’s why we were formed in 1783 by the Continental Congress, and it’s why we’re still here. We do it better than anyone. As long as we have bullets.”

The military, which had fallen to 14th in the world under Obama, is once again ranked number one. The news comes as no surprise to Trump, who made it his mission to restore America to its former glory:

“We can say Merry Christmas again. We won’t change Thanksgiving to something else. We won’t embrace the happy holidays cups at coffee shops and we certainly won’t let our guys go with no bullets. This is America. The Democrats want the criminals to have all the bullets. I say enough. Our military is the greatest again!”

Thank you, President Trump, for making this dream a reality.

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