Starbucks Finally Says ‘Merry Christmas’. With A Black Santa.

The truth is right in front of you

Starbucks introduced a new design seasonal coffee cup today that they say they made “in order to make peace with all those who feel Starbucks is anti-Christmas.” The cup is in basic white and says ‘Merry Christmas From Starbucks’ in tiny, almost imperceptible red and green lettering. So far, so good. Quite understated but the message is there. This is a win for the pro-Christmas crowd.

But it’s the other feature that is sure to cause controversy yet again. The familiar green mermaid logo is not present at all. It has been replaced with an image of Santa Claus.


Chairman of Marketing & Graphic Stuff, Joe Barron, explained the coffee chain’s decision to be racist:

“Well, we can’t please everyone. You got your Merry Christmas, we got to add our favorite Santa. Suck it up Christians.”

Starbucks has already created next year’s cup, featuring Black Jesus.

Obviously, this cup is merely subterfuge. Starbucks’ war on Christmas continues. They thought they could buy us off with some shiny beads in the form a Christmas greeting in one hand, but then slap us with a mockery of the season in the other. But we see through their ploy. The boycott will continue and the laugh will continue to be on them. Eventually. When their sales and stock someday tank.

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I refused to evolve and wrote fake news for cash, so I got fired.

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