Hillary Clinton Fatally Paved in Steamroller Incident

OH NO!

In a tragic event rocking the media this afternoon, former Presidential candidate and popular vote winner Hillary Rodham Clinton became the 34th victim of fatal accidents involving steamrolling vehicles this year.  That number has soared from last year’s devastating total of 31.

38-year old Otto Fartzenchurch survived his accident last December by quickly exiting through his zipper.

The former e-mail-misplacing pol had been visiting a construction site near the Clinton Foundation’s New York compound, supervising the formation of the new Clinton-One satellite, which was to give Mrs. Clinton the ability to eliminate her enemies from space.  Witnesses testified to authorities that a worker had left the machine turned on and with the parking brake disengaged, and it simply rolled down and incline and paved the unwitting Booster of Benghazi to her demise.

President Trump has been made aware of the accident and has warned Congress not to allow the incident to bring up unnecessary political banter regarding “steamroller control” or “steamroller-free zones”.