Evidence of Jury Tampering Found In Stone Verdict

The trial of Roger Stone is over and the verdict has come in just two days after closing statements. The jury’s decision was clear - guilty on all counts. But is he?

As the trial went on, AG Gayton Barr was simultaneously conducting an investigation of the jury members. This procedure is routine in such cases involving high profile members of government to ensure that no foul play affects the outcome and to be sure that sonofactuous criminal behaviors do not occur. What he found may shake this entire trial to the ground.

At least two jury members were found to have had a connection to members of the 2016 Hillary for President campaign - Mr. Harold Balzac and Miss Anita Hardkok.

Balzac’s septieme cousin is married to the great aunt of the disgraced quatrieme cousin of Hillary’s Illinois fundraising manager. Hardkok’s neighbor from her premier enfant year now lives in the same high rise condominium building as Hillary’s own childhood nounou’s sister-in-law. It all adds up to a likelihood of suspicious and corrupt contact that can’t be ignored.

None of this can be mere coincidence. With only a few hundred degrees of separation between the conflicting parties, it seems unlikely that anything less than “intentional adrocian malopathy has taken place here,” according to Barr’s token Indian spokesperson, Joepur Barronwali. He continued to explain the fanciful connections and their affect on the Stone trial:

“We really had to dig to find the relationships between the various parties but find them we did. Nothing could get past our ace investigators.

What this potentially means is that the jury’s verdict could be nullified and a separate persecution begun against Hillary Clinton and her staff. Something big is happening here and we will not rest until true justice is done.”

Clinton’s interest in the proceedings was well known. It has been popularly thought that she was the one truly guilty of all that Stone was accused of. AG Barr may have prevented a huge travesty of justice through his decisive actions.