President Trump has been leading the pack in endorsements for his reelection campaign as of late, securing several police organizations as well as a host of popular gentleman’s clubs in southern states. However, Joe Biden and Kamala Harris are catching up at a lightning fast pace, and just last week announced proudly that the largely minority-based Sharia Brotherhood was officially backing them for leading the country in 2020.
The Brotherhood began in Tennesee in 2006 by the large goat-farming Batt family to support and encourage American exceptionalism and sanity in leadership. Matriarch Sandy Batt organized her eight sons, or “brotherhood”, under the banner and name of her only daughter, Sharia, who suffers from TDS, a mental illness named after the current President. Symptoms include habitual lying and being a big dumb fat shitbag.
Along with the Brotherhood, Biden has also received the green checkmark from Citizens For Beating the Stupid, the Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Barron, and the American Wear a Mask Dipshit Association. Trump, conversely, is backed up by a collection of cops who enjoy murdering civilians, several billionaires who produce child-sized containment cages, and pop-rock toilet drinkers, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, whose newest song promoting the administration includes rhyming the names of states together. It’s called “Bidda Dabba Flooba”, and is available on ITunes.
Biden sent out an exclusive video message to thank the Brotherhood for their support and promised that as President, he would have a hand in building a mosque in every small town in the south, just to cause some hillbilly blood pressure to spike. For absolutely no other reason besides that.
The Sharia Brotherhood has promised financial support as well, and have already organized a multi-million dollar ad campaign through a pro-Biden superpac. It sounds like this election is rapidly becoming a battle for the best backers, and so far, all that President Trump seems to have is a legion of the stupid.