Amy Schumer Donates $3 Million For Pet Abortions

Pet Abortion Is Wrong

Chuck Schumer’s precious niece, Amy, recently had a child. One would think that such an event, like becoming a mother, would start to calm the foul-mouthed liberal harlot.

But, reality couldn’t be further from that notion. Oh no, Ms. Schumer seems to have gone the other way. She’s decided to invest in a pet abortion clinic! In a statement issued by her agent, Joe Barron, the b-list celebrity says:

“After experiencing growing a child and then birthing it, I’ve decided that the truth is, letting domesticated animals have babies is abusive! Obviously, we don’t want more unwanted pets, but even more, we don’t want our female pets put through such a horrific experience, like giving birth and becoming a mother.

So, I’m thrilled to announce that I’m funding a new clinic called the Procrastinator’s Spay and Neuter Center (brought to you by Bob Barker). This option will allow pet owners to bring in their pets up until the moment they give birth and get rid of those little inconveniences. It’s fast and affordable.

We are especially excited about the options available for hamsters, and goldfish. Small pets deserve reproductive choices, too!”

These liberals’ depravity has no end.

Betty Jo McMillihan of Canton, Ohio plans to stage protests at every vet’s office across the town to protest these types of procedures.

“Pro-life doesn’t just apply to human beings. Pet abortions are just as wrong! They are even more wrong! A pet can’t choose an abortion. There is no choice there. These people are violently making these decisions for these precious pets. Amy Schumer is a terrible pet mother and she shouldn’t be allowed to have a cat ever again.”

Bob Barker would be so unhappy to know that his name is on such an establishment. He was an advocate for spaying and neutering. Picking the pockets of female cats and dogs, deballing the boys — it was his calling and it was a noble cause.

Leave it to the Schumers to ruin a good thing with making it about abortion. Liberals.

About Norbert Heck 13 Articles
There's a lotta things about me you don't know anything about, Dottie. Things you wouldn't understand. Things you couldn't understand. Things you shouldn't understand. You don't wanna get mixed up with a guy like me. I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel. So long, Dott.

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